Paul

Paul

Rating 3 out of 10

I knew this movie was not for me.  I'm not a fan of any of the actors.  Simon Pegg is an English actor that just isn't funny to me.  Seth Rogan is disgusting to me.  He was not funny when he was fat and even less funny now that he is kinda skinny.  His version of humor is making third grade cracks about pot smoking and use the F-word every chance he can.

I think this movie with it's ten year old humor could have been aimed at other ten year olds had it not been for it's R rating.  Was it R rated for it's adult situations?  Hardly.  It get's it's rating from what seemed like a thousand F-bombs from virtually every character in the movie.

The story starts as two dorks from England are at Comic-con the science fiction nerd fest in San Diego.  They rent a mobile home to spend a couple weeks visiting different UFO sites. They stumble upon a foul mouthed chain smoking green alien (Paul-voiced by Rogan)  that has escaped a secret military base and is trying to hook up with his homies to go home.  The three kinda funny parts in the movie can easily be seen in the trailer.

Typical humor in this movie... When the gang stops in a RV park to spend they night they happen upon a daughter of the owner who is very religious.  Paul helps her see how silly her Christian beliefs are and how she has wasted her life in not doing cool things. Like cursing.  So for the rest of the movie she cusses like a moron in every sentence making up for lost time when she could have been cussing.

If that sounds funny to you then this is your movie!  My son is thirteen and closer to the age most of the humor is aimed and he admitted it was not very funny at all.  I wouldn't even rent this one folks.

Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch

Rating 7 out of 10

Does this movie have an intricate plot?  No.  Does this movie have great acting by top rate actors?  Not really.  What it does have is a bunch of hot women in school girl outfits kicking butt and killing dragons and Nazi zombie soldiers with swords and machine guns.  What else do you need??? : >

This movie stars Emily Browning (the little girl in 2004's Lemony Snicket's) as Babydoll.  When her mom dies her wicked stepfather attacks her and puts her in an unscrupulous insane asylum (is there ever a scrupulous insane asylum in the movies?).  This asylum like most is filled with only good looking women and run by an evil intern that exploits the women for his gain.  Babydoll quickly hatches a plan to break out of the asylum. They need five items.  Each item becomes an adventure where she and sometimes the other ladies have to mow through crazy bad guys in a visual way only the maker of the 300 could come up with.

The action sequences are over the top and out of this world.  This is pure escapism.  Not going to win any awards but I had a good time.

The Lincoln Lawyer

The Lincoln Lawyer

Rating 7.5 out of 10

A few years ago I read (listened to) the book Lincoln Lawyer by Michael Connelly.  I remember thinking then how this would make a good movie.  After viewing the movie tonight I'd say I was correct.

Matthew McConaughey plays defense attorney that mostly helps low life criminals.  His "office" is the back seat of an older Lincoln with a former client as driver working off his law bill.  A bailbond friend throws him a whale.  A big money client.  The client is rich boy Louis Roulet played by Ryan Phillippe better know for being Reese Witherspoon's ex).  The case at first appears to be a slam dunk easy money job.  Unfortunately it does not work out that way.

The cast is first rate. McConaughey is starting to show his age and turns in a good performance. The always good William H. Macy plays the long haired investigator.  Josh Lucas (very good in Sweet Home Alabama) is good.  Even Marisa Tomei is good as the ex-wife who works for the DA and is much friendlier with her ex-husband than anyone I know.

The movie moves along at a decent pace even with the ADD way it's filmed.  Seriously can't any cameraman hold the camera still anymore?  The director bounces the camera all over.

Overall this is an above average movie that is well worth seeing.

Battle: Los Angeles

Battle: Los Angeles

Rating 7 out of 10

When I saw the preview for this movie it looked like a cheesy low rent disaster movie with way too much shaky cam and no major actors.  No thanks.  I'll maybe rent it.  The low review rating on rottentomatoes didn't help either. But a couple friends gave it the thumbs up and my son wanted to see it.  Here I go.

It seems in the not so distant future asteroids start landing in the ocean outside LA.  Only these asteroids are aliens sent from another planet to take over.  Call in the Marines!  The good guys are there to evacuate the locals and then to kill the robot looking aliens.  This is a tougher job than first thought.  They are well armed and intend on taking no prisoners.

That is all you really need to know about this movie.  It's not a date movie with the wife.  Not my wife anyway.  If you like these type movies you will enjoy this one.  Yes, they do use way too much shaky cam (any is too much for me- I hate it), but that's mostly in the first 30 minutes of the movie.  The cast is mostly second tier actors.  The lead actor is Aaron Eckhart who plays the Marine Staff Sgt with a checkered past and retiring in a few weeks.  This is the first sign that trouble is heading his way.  Eckhart is not really leading man material but does a serviceable job here.

Overall I thought it was an entertaining movie with a couple flag waving glad to be an American moments.  It was much better than I thought it would be.  It's not groundbreaking or something that will blow you away but an entertaining way to spend a couple hours.

Limitless

Limitless

Rating 3 out of 10

I had such high hopes for this movie.  What a great idea for a movie.  Down and out writer meets up with ex brother inlaw who has access to a pill that will allow you instead of using 20% of your brain to use the whole noodle.  Learn foreign languages in hours. Play the piano. Write a book in days.  Master the stock market in no time.  The problem is the makers of this movie only used 10% of their brain.

The main star is the hunky and likable Bradley Cooper.  He does a good job with what he has to work with.  His girlfriend in the movie is played by Abbie Cornish who looks amazingly like a young Nicole Kidman.  Robert De Niro plays the same character he does in most films now a days.

The problem is for such a smart guy he makes some real stupid moves. Borrow money from a crooked nose Russian loan shark and forget to pay it back?  The movie is very uneven bouncing from A to Z with no real reason or explanation.  The ending is a mess that asks more questions than it answers.  Even my buddy Ted that gives every movie a 10 didn't like this one.

It has one of my big pet peeves.  Anyone that has seen the preview has seen De Niro growling "there is no scenario where you don't work for me" and pretty boy replying with a smug smile "I see fifty scenarios, that what this does" (okay that may not be exact words but close). NOT in the movie.  Ugh.

Sadly rent this one if you have to.

Previews pet peeves!

One thing about me that will surprise no one that knows me is that I'm not a patient man.  Getting somewhere way early and sitting around doing nothing is like bamboo under the fingernails.  I don't like getting to a movie and sitting in the dark theater watching those stupid commercials from some Vet on how he can fix your dog.

That said I love watching the previews of coming attractions.   There are a few things that do get on my nerves with previews.  Feel free to reply comments with your list.

- It drives me nuts when they play a preview for a great movie that I can't wait to go see and at the end you hear "coming out NEXT YEAR!"  Why play a commercial for a movie that is not going to come out until next Christmas???  Grrrr.

- Another is when they play clips in the previews that don't make it in the movie!  Are you kidding me?  The clip was good enough to play in a commercial to get people to watch your movie and you can't leave it IN the movie?

- It also drives me nuts when they take stars that are merely cameos in the movie and in the commercial make it look like they are one of the main actors.  One example is last years the Other Guys with Will Ferrell.  It the previews they made it look like The Rock and Samuel Jackson were a big part of the movie. They made it what 92 seconds before they were gone?  Geeze.  In the movie opening March 18th- Paul (about a couple nerds that find an alien) the commercials show Jane Lynch from Glee as a funny waitress. She has been hitting every talk show promoting the movie.  She admits she is only in the movie about 30 seconds.

- I am 6'4" and tend to pretend the movie theater is my own living room.  I like to stretch out.  Not only do I feel I paid for the seat I'm in but also atleast one or two others in front of me to put my feet all over.  I got to alot of early shows where rarely are there more than 20 other in the theater with me.  I have had it where I was one of five people in the theater and had someone come in and sit in the chair directly in front of me! I kid you not.

I'm not going to mention the old lady with the WalMart bag full of popcorn that crinkles like noisy tinfoil with EVERY kernel she removes!

What did I forget?

Rango

Rango

Rating 4 out of 10

I like animated movies.  It's the little kid in me.  Over the last ten years I generally have atleast one animated movie in my top ten list.  In 2011 it's safe to say Rango won't make the list.  The TOP ten list anyway.

From the commercials this looked to be a witty and funny movie that would appeal to both kids and adults (a la Shrek).  Instead it would appeal to neither.  I went with my little girl (Stacy-21) who nearly faints at the sight of Johnny Depp who plays the star. Or voices the star that is.  Rango is a bug eyed chameleon household pet that finds himself tossed from the car and lost in the desert.  He stumbles into a small town full of reptiles and rodents who quickly make him sheriff.  There is a big battle for water in the town and Rango is in the middle.

The visuals are nothing short of spectacular.  The problem is with the story.  It breaks the cardinal sin for any movie.  It's DULL.  There are very few laugh out loud moments.  Maybe two.  An hour into Rango and Stacy looks at her watch and groans that there is still thirty minutes left!

Somehow Rango scored an 87% on www.rottentomatoes.com.  I'm always leery of movies that score that high with reviewers.  I really wanted to like this movie and instead was bored to tears.

The Adjustment Bureau

The Adjustment Bureau

Rating 6.5 out of 10

I will start by saying this movie was better than I thought it would be.  I had this pegged for a goofy movie with a bunch of guys running around with funny hats.  I'd wait to rent.  It was my daughter inlaw's birthday and she picked this one.  I liked it.  Matt Damon is a good actor and I like Emily Blunt too.

In this movie it raises (and seems to answer) the question of is there a higher power looking out for us.  Is it luck, destiny or did someone higher cause you to spill your coffee and miss the bus?  The powers that be have determined Damon's character is not meant to be with Blunts sassy Elise and he is sure they are wrong.

I would have rated it higher but movies that make me wait almost to the end before they give you a clue as to what is really going on get on my nerves.  That's the case here.  They feed you a little in the first ten minutes then make you wait wondering who is actually doing what and why.  The ending mostly answers the questions but is a little lacking.

Overall it's a likable movie with good acting all around.  This time next year when you pass it in the video store you'll barely remember seeing it.

On a side note there was an older couple I almost had to throw down the stairs when they smuggled in some outside food in plastic bags.  Every time they dug into their stash it crinkled like tin foil!

Ted's Oscar wrap-up

As I said before my friend Ted is the only one I know that watches the whole Academy Awards from start to finish.  I always look forward to his synopsis of the show.  It ALMOST makes me want to watch it next year.  

Here is Ted's wrap-up...

I watched the first half of the Oscars on Sunday night and decided if I stayed up any longer they would be getting to the good part and I'd be up too late. I was really impressed with Anne Hathaway. I mean, yes, she is really pretty (though sometimes her mouth just seems freakishly large), but I thought she was enthusiastic, professional, and comfortable. I'm not sure why she sang a song, but she did a great job. James Franco just seems like the stoner that he always plays, but he did alright. He said afterwards that he was going to school during the week (he’s getting a Ph.D in English at Yale) and could only get ready for the Oscars on weekends, a lot of which was probably dedicated to doing the pre-recorded bits. So really he should have turned it down. I thought the opening montage where they go into people’s dreams was pretty funny, but I don’t know why they had Back to the Future in there.

Other than that, I have the usual complaints. Too many technical awards and acceptance speeches. The short subjects shouldn't be part of the ceremony because nobody sees them. I wouldn't mind seeing a two-part Oscars where they show the short subjects on Saturday and give the award at the end. 20 minutes times 5 nominees times 2 short subject awards is 200 minutes though. And while I don't want to hear some crazy Belgian short documentary maker thank all of his friends, I also don't think it is fair that they get like 10 seconds to make a speech while the actors get as much time as they want apparently. Even the winner of best animated feature only got 10 seconds. More people probably see the animated features than any other category!

I felt bad for Kirk Douglas. I think it's great that he is able to do all of that after having a stroke, and he was pretty funny, but it's painful to watch and he was hard to understand. I enjoyed him teasing the supporting actresses after opening the envelope. Most people don't have the guts to do that, but as a two-time loser, he earned the right.

I saw so few movies last year that I couldn't possibly have an opinion on who should win pretty much anything. I like Aaron Sorkin (who wrote The West Wing TV series and A Few Good Men), so I was glad he got an Oscar for writing The Social Network. And now I want to see The Fighter to see what that was all about. The King's Speech, Inception, The Kids are All Right, The Black Swan, The Fighter, and The Social Network are all on my list.

After watching the good half of the Oscars the next day, I don’t have many further comments, though I liked Randy Newman's acceptance speech and thought Natalie Portman must be incredibly smart because she remembered everyone who helped make her movie and thanked them by name without looking at notes. Last year I thought the speeches saying how wonderful each actress is were over the top. I still thought it was unnecessary, but it wasn't quite as ooey and gooey this year. And after Jeff Bridges said all those nice things, Sandra Bullock was kind of mean to the men. But given what’s happened to her since the last Oscars, I guess she has earned that too.

Maybe the nominees could submit thank you lists in advance and those could crawl across the bottom of the screen as people give their speeches. I’m sure it is nice to be thanked by an Oscar winner, but I don’t know the people they are thanking usually. But I guess there isn’t much more to say. You don’t want to write a nice speech and then lose and not get to use it.

Drive Angry

Drive Angry

Rating 3 out of 10

Yes, I'm embarrassed to admit I paid money to see this movie.  In 3D too!!!

Nicolas Cage (anyone remember when he used to make good movies?) plays Milton- a guy that broke out of hell to avenge the murder of his daughter and save the life of his baby granddaughter.  The evil man that killed his daughter intends to sacrifice the baby at midnight on a full moon to somehow (does it matter how?) unlock the gates of hell.  A hot foul mouthed waitress for some reason decides to join in the fray.  She is Amber Heard, a cute blonde from Rockys favorite movie - Never Back Down.  Milton is being chased by an "accountant" from hell whose job it is to bring him back.

How could that go wrong?   Unless you are drinking heavily don't even bother to rent this one?

Oscar Results

I tried to watch the Oscars this year.  I really did.  I made it twenty minutes before I hit the record button on my dvr.  I'm sorry.  As much as I like movies I just could not care less who wins the award for best documentary short subject, foreign language film, sound editing or a long list of others.  I don't want to hear people I have never heard of thank everyone and their brother for their award.

From what I did see I thought Anne Hathaway and James Franco did an okay job as host at best.  Not sure how they came up with the idea of those two as hosts.  Guess Billy Crystal was busy.  Maybe not he was there as a presenter.

Let's do away with most of the "entertainment" on the show.  I don't need/want to hear Randy Newman sing.  Do not need to see the red headed lady sing in what seemed like another language besides English. I do enjoy the opening montage where they place the hosts in each of the nominated movies.

My friend Ted is the only person I know that watches the whole show start to finish and I always look forward to his synopsis.  If he will email it to me I'll put it up here.

Surprised to see most all of my picks won this year.  I am not usually able to pick the winners.  I thought this was the best group of nominees in many years!