Bad Teacher

Bad Teacher

Rating 2 out of 10

I was very leery about going to see this movie.  Had not seen any good reviews, but movies like this don't usually get great reviews.  The trailers looked kinda funny.  After seeing the movie I was very surprised to see that on www.rottentomatoes.com out of 141 reviews 79 were rotten.  What surprised me was that 62 reviewers gave this piece of crap a thumbs up.  This movie is horrible from start to finish.  I put the bar low when I went in the theater and it fell far below.

Cameron Diaz plays an airhead school teacher that has skated by in life on her good looks and likes it that way.  She chooses being a teacher because she thinks it's easy.  Never says how she made it through college to get a degree.  Her goal in life is to find a rich husband that can give her the finer things in life.  Loving or even liking the guy means nothing.  Money is all that counts.

When she is dumped by her rich boyfriend for being a gold digger she sets her sights on a sub teacher when it becomes clear he has family money (why is he teaching?).  She feels she stands a better chance landing a money man if she has bigger boobs but does not have the ten grand it costs to get them.  She then steals money from the kids car wash, bribes parents and any other way legal or not to get the bigger rack.

Justin Timberlake plays the sub teacher.  He should fire his agent and anyone else that got him involved in the project.  Jason Segel plays the dopy gym teacher who has the hots for teacher yet she wants nothing to do with a lowly gym teacher.  Even one that invites her to smoke pot with her in the gym during school hours.

The acting is bad and over the top as a campy SNL skit.  I don't mind a raunch movie every now and then.  Even the use of the F-word was not overused like I thought it would be.  This movie just wasn't funny.  I have to thank my buddy Ted for dragging me to see this!  : >

Kung Fu Panda 2

Kung Fu Panda 2

Rating 5 out of 10

I am one that does not get Jack Black.  Just don't think he is funny at all.  Unlike good comedians he seems to be TRYING very hard to be funny.  I saw the first Kung Fu Panda and thought it was okay.  Not a dvd I'd want to buy but was entertained for a couple hours.  Panda 2 was like the first one except not as funny and much more serious storyline that I think may go above the head of small kids.

I know it's the rage to get big named actors to voice animated characters in these films.  It seems to be a waste though when you don't realize they were in it.  Angelina Jolie plays Tigress an Jackie Chan plays the Monkey, Lucy Liu plays the Viper and even Jean-Claud Van Damme voices a Croc.  I had no idea.

The story here goes that Po the panda has figured out that his duck father is not his real dad.  He has a flashback showing an evil peacock killing his real parents when he was just a cub.  As luck would have it that same evil peacock is at this very time trying to take over all of China.  The only thing is his way is the Kung Fu Panda and his band of martial artists.

The movie is just shy of 90 minutes long, but to me seemed longer.  On the good side the animation is as incredible as you would expect.

If you LOVED Panda 1 you will most likely enjoy this one.  I thought it was okay.  Not something I would recommend.

Bossy Pants- Book

Bossy Pants by Tina Fey

I like Tina Fey.  I love the way she makes fun of herself.  I like her sense of humor.  I am on that short list of people that like her tv show 30 Rock.  I remember the first year of 30 Rock I was reading a Tina Fey interview.  When she was asked how she felt about being labeled by TV Guide as the least attractive female lead in a tv show that year.  She said she had no doubt if TV Guide were at a bar and had 10-12 drinks TV Guide would want to sleep with her.  : >

This book is a comedic version of Tina's autobiography.  She starts with her mom being 40 year old when she was born.  Tells tales of how her mom found it difficult to explain getting her first period.  She tells of her trying to get boys to like her.  How many boys were interested in a pasty white girl with big thighs and a goofy perm on the top of her head?  That would be zero.

She talks candidly of her days on Saturday Night Life.  The start of 30 Rock and what it was like to play Sarah Palin.  She tells funny stories about having kids and breast feeding.  She admits she is not one that cares about her image.  She says she went to public school, has all her own face parts and left to her own devices dresses like someone that came to clean your aquarium.

If you like Tina Fey at all you will find this book often laugh out loud funny.  I liked it alot.

Green Lantern

Green Lantern

Rating 6 out of 10

I like super hero movies.  When they are good they are very good.  Unfortunately when they are bad they are very bad.  This movie is somewhere in the middle.  I admit I have never read the comic book that inspired this movie.  Until the trailers for this film I had no idea what his super power was.  Still not sure I understand it all.  This was one of those movies I kept having the feeling that maybe I should have picked up the comic book before watching.  I know my comic book nerd brother inlaw knows the whole background on everything that went on.

What is very good with this movie is the star Ryan Reynolds. He is a likable guy that has the abs to wear the green suit.  He is a good mix of funny, irresponsible young man and hunky good looks.  His female sidekick I'm not so sure about.  Blake Lively to me seemed like the third or forth pick for the part.  The CGI and action is pretty good.  Just wish there was more of it.

The story goes kinda like this.  Across the galaxy there are thousands of protectors keeping the bad guys at bay.  They wear green suits and have cool rings that somehow get charged up by these green lanterns.  When they put the ring on they can create things just by thinking of them.  There is also a huge bad guy that has a bone to pick with the green suits. He is just a step away from destroying the universe and the next planet on the list is Earth.  All that stands between the bad guy is the young earthling still trying to figure out how this ring works (it was given to him by a dying green guy).

This movie is fun enough if you keep expectations low. Otherwise rent it.  This is not the movie people will be talking about at the end of the summer.  Or even the end of June.

Super 8

Super 8

Rating 6 out of 10

I am always leery of any movies that get above an 80% on www.rottentomatoes.com.  As goofy as most movie reviewers are if that many like a movie there HAS to be something wrong with it.  : >

Super 8 is a decent movie.  Maybe with producer Steven Spielberg and directed by J.J. Abrams (Star Trek, Lost, ect) I was expecting more.  Also being released in the Summer along with Xmen, Thor and Fast Five I was expecting something a little more fast paced?   This movie is based back in 1979.  What a great year that was.  A tall pasty slightly overweight movie critic graduated high school that year!

In 1979 before HD video cameras were the size of a pack of cigarettes (people smoked indoors back then too!)  and we could take quality videos from our cell phones (had no clue what a cell phone was) if you wanted home movies you had to film it on a very expensive and choppy Super 8 movie camera.  Yes kids.  Besides riding our dinosaurs we had to wait 3-4 days for film to be developed in a far off land before we could watch it (or see the pictures we took with our crappy little cameras).

Back to the movie. In a small Ohio town a group of kids are making their own zombie movie at a train station late at night when a pickup truck jumps on the tracks and causes a horrific crash.  The kids run but the camera keeps rolling.  The next day the evil military show up pushing around all the local police and offering no excuses when people and pets turn up missing.  When they finally get the movie back they see what escaped from the wrecked train.  It's big, ugly and likes to eat people.

This is a very slow paced movie.  You are well over an hour into the film before you see what escaped.  You get to meet the local kids and find the little boy has a crush on the blonde girl.  There is a bit of a showdown at the end of the movie and we find out the thing only eats people that do not have their name in the credits.

The effects are slightly above average mostly due to the very cool train wreck.  The actors are dotted with faces you mostly kinda remember from tv shows.  The dad guy from Friday Night Lights tv show no one watched is in it as is Dakota Fanning's sister.

Some people will like this movie more than I did.  I did think it was okay, but wish I had rented it.  I'd recommend the same to you.

X-Men: First Class

X-men: First Class

Rating 6.5 out of 10

I liked the first X-Men movie.  Really liked the second movie even more.  Third X-Men not as much.  This movie I would rate around the same as the first one (maybe a small notch lower), not nearly as good as II and better than III.

The problem with prequels or first movies is that slow introducing period where you introduce the characters and telling their back story.  The first Superman movie comes to mind.  It is interesting how everyone gets together and the learning curve on how to use their mutant powers.  Gives you the back story on why Magneto is such an evil person.

In this movie Kevin Bacon plays the bad guy, Sebastian Shaw.  Bacon is one of the few big name actors in the film and I'm surprised they didn't show him more in the previews.  Shaw it turns out what the reason for the Cuban Missile Crisis back in the 60s.  By getting the superpowers to start a huge nuclear war he can kill off all the humans and leave Earth to those mutants who would survive.  Rose Byrne plays the CIA agent who hooks up with the good mutants to stop the war.  I like Rose and her acting.  I just wish she'd eat a cheeseburger every now and then as she is scarecrow skinny.

I'm not sure I agree with some of the casting and the story is uneven at times.  Yet overall the action and effects are good and I enjoyed the movie.  There are a couple very good cameos and I still say Jennifer Lawrence will be a big star some day.

Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids

Rating 7 out of 10

I thought this movie looked pretty funny from the first preview I saw.  Clearly they were thinking of a female Hangover when they started this film.  After watching the movie it's nothing like Hangover and in my opinion FAR better than Hangover II.

In this movie Annie's (Kristen Wiig) best friend since childhood gets engaged.  She is all excited about planning the wedding with her when her future husbands boss's rich wife Helen (Rose Byrne) starts butting in and taking over the wedding.  Sparks fly. She makes little money and can't compete with Helen's bank account or connections.

The bad part first.  It seems anytime a Saturday Night Live vet gets in a movie it comes across like an extended SNL skit.  Wiig co-wrote this movie.  There are some funny parts but unfortunately some parts that drag along forced.

The good part is the funny parts are very funny.  Kristen Wiig carries the movie and is funny.  A bright spot in the movie is the future sister inlaw Megan played by Melissa McCarthy.  She is very funny on the tv show Mike and Molly.  If you are not watching Mike and Molly you should be.  She goes right to the edge of going too far and thankfully pulls back.

This movie is not for kids.  There is alot of crude talk (I didn't think women talked like that?) and several F-bombs that seemed to be thrown in there to put an edge to it.  Go see this movie folks.  I'd say go to the later show with more people in the theater.  Funny movies are just funnier with alot of other laughing people with you.