We're the Millers

We're the Millers

Rating 6.5 out of 10

This is the dullsville time for movie fans.  Most of the summer blockbusters have been released and the holiday movies are not around the corner yet.  I'm very surprised nothing big was released over the Labor Day weekend.  Wife was out of town and nothing really to see.  My movie buddy Ted wants to see We're the Millers.  My kids have seen it and said it was very funny but Dad you will HATE it.  I"m one of the few guys around that doesn't care for Jennifer Aniston.  Never have.  She just doesn't do it for me.  All those guys from Saturday Night Live I don't really care for either.  I stopped watching SNL when Steve Martin left.  Don't really like drug humor either.  Don't find it funny.  But what the heck I'll give it a try.  Much to my surprise it was funny.  Not the your sides are hurting from laughing so hard funny, but has plenty of funny parts.  I enjoyed it.

The movie starts with lovable loser David Clark (Jason Sudeikis) still selling pot for a living many years after high school.  We know he's a good guy because he won't sell pot to the goofy kid in his apartment building even though he has turned eighteen.  When he tries helping a homeless girl being mugged (Emma Roberts)  the thugs turn on him stealing not only his stash but all the money he had including the money he was supposed to pay his supplier.  The supplier (goofy Ed Helms) wants his money now or he'll have him killed.  Option B is to travel into Mexico and bring a shipment back for him and he will clear the slate plus give him cash.

Rocket Science this ain't.  David talks a money strapped stripper (Aniston), the homeless girl and the goofy eighteen year old boy into traveling into Mexico in a huge RV to bring the drugs back and make some cash along the way.  It's not hard to figure out this plot.

Yet there were some very funny moments.  I laughed much more than I thought I would.  I was entertained much to the surprise of my children.

Kick Ass 2

Kick-Ass 2

Rating 5 out of 10

When the first Kick-Ass movie came out in 2010 I didn't think I would like it and waited to rent.  After watching it on dvd I liked it so much I bought it.  Little Chloe Grace Moretz (12 at the time) stole the show as the little crime fighting masked hero.  I liked it so much I was actually looking forward to part 2.   Unfortunately this is mostly a movie that never should have been made.

We flash forward four years and Hit Girl (Moretz) and Kick Ass (Aaron Taylor) are still trying to clean up the crime in NYC while also adjusting to normal high school life.  A group of wanna-be super heroes sprouts up to also fight crime.  The leader of this is Colonel Stars and Stripes (an almost unrecognizable Jim Carrey).  Kick Ass's arch enemy The Red Mist is out for revenge on Kick Ass for killing his crime boss father.

All this really doesn't matter.  When Hit Girl is on screen it's mostly entertaining.  The problem is she doesn't appear nearly enough.  There is a decent fight scene at the end, but mostly it's pretty hokey.  Even for the fairly low level the bar is set.

If you liked the first movie wait and rent this one.  You will feel like you got your monies worth out of Red Box.

Elysium

Elysium 

Rating 3 out of 10

Okay, first thing I would have done with this script (there are lots I would do) is change the name.  Not only is Elysium hard to spell and pronounce it just doesn't tell you anything about the movie.  Lucky you have me to explain it all for you.  : >

Just over 140 years from now the Earth is a wasteland.  If they said what caused the ruins I didn't catch it.  All the buildings are tore up and LA could use another coat of paint.  There seems to be plenty of clean water and I'm not sure why they can't grow food.  Trash is everywhere yet no one makes an attempt to clean it up.  To make things worse for the poor people of Earth when they look up they see a huge space station thing where the evil rich have built where everything is clean and green and they can live to their excess.  

Young Max  (Matt Damon) turns up at an orphanage in LA where everyone speaks Spanish.  There he meets a young girl Frey (Alice Braga) who becomes his soulmate.  Well, until he gets into stealing cars and goes to jail and she goes somewhere never explained and has a daughter.   Max promises Frey some day he will get them to the wonderful place called Elysium.

The worst thing about those evil rich people in Elysium is while people on Earth are dying in the streets  from sickness and disease up on the space station they have a thing that looks like a huge tanning bed.  Instead of giving you a nice brown tan this bed will in seconds cure any disease/problem you have.  Because they are evil they won't share even one of them.

When Max is forced into a restricted area at work by his mean boss he is dosed with a lethal amount of radiation.  Given five days to live and a bottle full of blue pills to help him cope it becomes his mission to take over Elysium.  Oh yeah, Frey's daughter has cancer and only days to live.  Ugh.

Not much good I can say about the movie.  They seemed to have a big budget yet the effects were some you'd see on the old Star Trek tv show.  Damon does a decent job of acting.  I just don't know why he signed up for this.  Jodie Foster used to be an award winning actress and now she gets to overact as the heartless military leader of Elysium that can order Earthlings to be killed without blinking.  The rest of the actors are so bad I wonder if they emptied a homeless shelter for actors in LA and promised each a job.

This is a class welfare sham by liberal Hollywood that poorly disguises itself as an action movie.

Percy Jackson : Sea of Monsters

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Rating 6 out of 10

One of the first full books I read with my youngest son (now a teenager) back when he was 9-10 years old was the first Percy Jackson book in the series.  It was a book he and I both looked forward to reading.  When the first Percy Jackson movie came out movie came out in 2010 we were glad to go see it and both liked it.  I have to admit I was surprised they made a second movie when the original only grossed $86 million.  I guess it did well overseas.

I was less excited about seeing Percy II yet still went opening day.   This film takes up a few years after the first one ends.  Young Percy is a little older and losing his confidence.  Seems after saving the world on his first trip out he hasn't done much since.  Was the first one luck or is he really the chosen one.

As luck would have it another major catastrophe is right around the corner and it's up to Percy, his cutie girlfriend helper Annabeth and his hoofed buddy Grover to save the world once again.

I was entertained with the movie in a kiddy type film.  This movie is geared a little more toward the kids even though certain parts of the monster scenes might be a little too scary for the little ones.

If you are into these type movies you will be fine here.

2 Guns

2 Guns

Rating 5 out of 10


When you have a movie starring two heavy weight actors like Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg  I tend to set the bar a little higher than normal.  Not sure why I include Wahlberg on that list.  Even though he is a likable guy and has shown he has his acting chops he has been in far more stinkers than good movies.  2 Guns isn't a stinker but it's not real good either.

It's a movie far more complicated than it needs to be.  You can tell by watching the trailer and while you know it's a buddy-buddy movie you have no idea what it is about.  You still have that feeling ninety minutes into this two hour movie.

Without giving spoilers away all I can tell you is Washington is a DEA agent and Wahlberg is working for the Navy.  Somehow Wahlberg gets Washington to help him rob a bank down on the Mexico border that is said to have a couple million dollars of Mexican drug money not knowing that Washington is working for the DEA.  Wahlberg is told the Navy will use that money to fund future drug raids and help starving kids.  Not sure why anyone would buy that or think that makes sense.  When they do rob the bank it turns out to have much more cash than they expect.  Money that belongs to some very bad people.  Double crosses everywhere.

I have been rumored to pick movies apart (cough-cough).  I admit thing like someone jumping behind a cloth couch to dodge bullets (no way can those bullets make it thru that couch!) or someone busting into a Naval base by running their car thru a barricade one would expect a middle school crossing guard to have gets on my nerves.  While a mutant named Wolverine can sprout razor sharp knives from his hands to chop up bad guys or Bruce Lee can kick a guy so hard he flies 15 feet in the air doesn't bother me a bit.  Go figure.

This movie has much you have to look the other way on.  The good class of actors takes this from a terrible movie to a watchable movie.  Without the big budget and actors this movie goes straight to DVD.  Which is where you should find this movie in a Red Box when you watch it.

R.I.P.D

R.I.P.D

Rating 3 out of 10

I think at some point this movie had potential to be decent if not slightly above average.  The problem is it just doesn't.  When you watch the trailer it is clear this is a bit of a rip off of the Men in Black films.  That is not totally a bad thing.  Turns out there is a a group of law men that have died on duty.  Instead of being sucked up into the tornado thing that take you to judgment (from there you go North or South) these lawmen stay on to help hunt down and bring to justice those undead hiding on Earth with plans to do evil.

When young, good looking, super cop Nick (Ryan Reynolds) dies in a big raid he is drawn into R.I.P.D (Rest In Peace Department).  He is partnered up with the crusty old sheriff from the 1800s who of course wants nothing to do with a partner.  Roy is played by Jeff Bridges and I'll say he give it his all.  Kind of a mix between Rooster Cogburn in True Grit and the Dude in the Big Lebowski.

Also of course within a matter of days there is a catastrophe brewing that will reign dead people on earth and bring life as we know it to an end.  What does that keep happening?

They have a decent idea, loads of money for effects, very good cast (also Kevin Bacon). It's even filmed in a great city (Boston).  They just forgot to get even a decent script.  It's like a group of high school kids wrote the storyline.  It's hokey at every turn.  While they clearly spent lots of money on effects it looks like it's 20 years old.  It goes from mildly amusing to really getting on your nerves in a hurry.

Unfortunately R.I.P.D = S.U.C.K.S