The Dark Tower

The Dark Tower 

Rating 4 out of 10

First trailer I saw for this movie looked pretty good.  Idris Elba is definitely a star on the rise and Matthew McConaughey is usually good too.  Story looks interesting although the trailer doesn't really give much of it.  Smart move.  Then I realize this is a movie based on a Stephen King novel. While King may be a good writer (I personally haven't cared for many of his books) he does not have a very good track record when it comes to movies made from those books.  Unfortunately this movie falls into the bad category.

I saw the movie and I'm not completely sure what it was about.  Somewhere in a different world these alien things are stealing kids and putting them in something that looks like a ride at Six Flags then shoots them across the sky crashing into a big tower.  McConaughey plays a devil type of guy called the Man in Black that oversees the not so fun kids ride.  In this world there were gunslingers fighting for good.  Sadly there is only one left called Roland (Elba).  On our Earth there is a ten year old boy with some special powers (never really explained) that helps Roland save not only the planet but the universe.

The boy is badly miscast and McConaughey looks puffy, shiny and strange.  There are a few cool fight scenes that could easily fit in a two minute trailer.  Don't even bother renting this one folks.  I was not entertained.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Rating 3 out of 10

I had doubts on this one from the first trailer I watched but I had a rain day and this was the only movie that fit my time frame.  I should have followed my instinct on this one and found something else to do.

This takes place way in the future.  Some of the planets are having problems so a group start merging small planets together in one growing community.  Soon the community has (as the title says) has more than a thousand planets of all types of humans and aliens.  Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and his blonde sidekick Laureline (Cara Delevingne) and like cops of the universe.  Something happens and they are on the trail trying to figure out who the bad guys are.

Visually this movie is a NINE.  Nothing short of amazing.  The problem is the story is barely a ONE. You are two hours in to the 137 minute movie before it's explained what in the world is going on and sadly by then you just don't care.  You want it to be over.  Casting is terrible.  Dane and Cara smirk their way across the planets like they both think they are way better looking than they are.

This movie is a total waste of time.  I was not entertained at all.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Rating 7.5 out of 10

I have seen every Spider:Man movie since the first one way back in 2002. Some I have liked more than others.  Being an old school guy I liked Tobey Maguire best out of them all.  I do like this new kid in the reboot.  He is fun and likable and gives a fresh start to an older movie.

This Spider-Man starts off when Peter is young and learning his ropes yet does not make us sit through one more time of how he was bit by that dang radioactive spider.  Peter knows he has the spider powers and is working to perfect them.  He wants to be an Avenger superhero so bad but his mentor Tony Stark does not feel he is ready and wants him to stay under the radar for a while.

The good: Newbie Tom Holland is a good younger Spidey. He balances saving the world and wishing he could kiss his high school crush.  Michael Keaton is nothing short of fantastic.  Maybe his best performance although it won't get the recognition since it's a superhero movie.  The special effects are as good as you would expect.  It's a fun harmless movie that kids of all ages can see.

The bad:  Well it's definitely a more simplistic story than movies past.  It was almost like they took one of the Saturday cartoons and turned it into a movie.  Not necessarily a bad thing but I was kinda hoping for more.  I"m sure the next one will be even better.

I was entertained.

The Big Sick

The Big Sick

Rating 9 out of 10

I'm a afraid the more I try to explain how good this movie is the worse it will sound.  As I have said before I am very leery of any movie that ALL the critics love but they got it right with this one.  I saw an interview with the star Kumail Nanjiani on late night and it seemed like an entertaining movie.  Had a date night with the Hottie and had to decide between this and Spiderman.  The times for this one worked out better.  I'm sure we'll get to Peter Parker in the near future.

This movie is based on the real life courtship of Kumail and Emily.  Kumail is from a strict Pakistan family where it's not only expected you marry someone else from Pakistan but if you don't you are kicked out of the family.  Kumail is already on thin ice with is family by being a Uber driver and stand up comedy instead of going to law school.  When he meets Emily at the comedy school where he is performing at it's instant fireworks.  Before they can decide if the relationship will go anywhere Emily comes down with a strange virus and is put into a coma.  Emily's parents (Ray Romano and Holly Hunter) are not crazy about Kumail but grow to like him as he loyally comes to the hospital hoping she will be okay.

This movie mixes between hold your stomach and laugh out loud with wipe your eye tearjerker like no other I have seen.  I haven't laughed at a movie like this one in some time.  Don't want to oversell it but I feel this will be a sleeper hit like Big Fat Greek Wedding was.  Or atleast it should.

Go see this one folks.  You won't be sorry.

Baby Driver

Baby Driver

Rating 6 out of 10

I am always leery of any movie where almost all the critics agree it's the best movie of the year.  I tried to tamper expectations but with this movie scoring a current 97% on www.rottentomatoes.com and several saying it's the best movie of the year I feel I set the bar too high walking into the theater.

As we see from the trailer Baby is a twenty something guy (Ansel Elgort) that is an expert getaway driver for a mobster guy (Kevin Spacey).  He was in an accident when he was young that killed his parents and left him with a ring in his ears.  The only way he can work with the ring is to have music playing via his ear buds.  Baby is working off his debt with the mobster by driving and is almost even.  About this time he falls for a cutie waitress at a dinner he frequents and has dreams of driving into the sunset with her.

As you would guess there are some great driving scenes.  The Atlanta police don't stand a chance of catching Baby.  As luck would have it every car Baby steals for the heists are turbo high powered vehicles that can out run police cars.  The crew of bank robbers the mobster employs are very bad and don't mind blowing away a security guard.  Jon Hamm and Jamie Foxx are very good.

I was entertained with this movie.  It's fun while highly paint by the numbers story plods along.  Good music and Baby does a good job with his part.  For me it was mostly fun seeing all the Atlanta landmarks.  In fact last year they were filming a scene at a bank over by a job I was working.  I watched for a while but had no idea what movie it was.

Despicable Me 3

Despicable Me 3

Rating 6.5 out of 10

Anytime I can go to the movies with my granddaughter Rylee Rose I jump at the chance.  On a rainy day with a well stocked popcorn bin and slushie machine what could be better?  I have seen the other two Despicable movies so seeing this one was a given.

In this one our star Gru (fantastic Steve Carell) is still doing his best to be a good guy and not a criminal.  When he fails again to capture his nemesis bad guy Balthazar Bratt he is fired along with his wife Lucy.  His minions (scratching on chalkboard for me) want to return to a life of crime.  About this time he finds he has a twin brother who also is into crime.  They combine to try to capture Bratt before he destroys Hollywood.  Hilarity ensues.

There are some good belly laughs although the story is a little strained.  I was entertained as was five year old Rylee.  I liked the first Despicable movie alot.  I would say this is #3 out of the bunch while still worth a viewing for child or adult.

Transformers: The Last Night

Transformers: The Last Night

Rating 5 out of 10

The fifth in the series of Transformer movies.  I think I have seen every one.  This version is getting pounded pretty bad in the reviews but these movies never review well.  Probably with just cause.  Is this a good movie?  No.  Was I mildly entertained for 149 minutes?  Yes I was.  I have to take young son Rocky to all these movies so he can translate for me which one of the robots are good and which are bad.  It's always confusing for me when they start fighting each other which one I should be rooting for.

Mark Wahlburg coming back for his second and hopefully last Transformer movie.  Several years since the last movie.  Earth has waged war on all of the Transformers good and bad.  Sending military out to destroy any that are left.  Wahlburg still protects some and is trying for world peace.  Somehow the bad transformers again are headed to Earth with plans of destroying everyone on it.  Earth has something that their planet needs to survive in a story that is way too hard to follow.  This story goes back to King Arthur and Merlin.

If you are a fan of these movies you will be mildly entertained with this one.  The reported budget of $200+ million shows on the screen  It's pretty amazing to watch.  Anthony Hopkins is always good as he is here and the pretty Laura Haddock is good as the English professor that helps Wahlburg save the world.

Side note:  If you are a parent of small kids please teach them how to eat popcorn with their mouth closed!!!  Three kids sitting behind us were so loud eating their popcorn I thought Rocky was going to beat them.  We moved to the other side of the theater and could still hear them chomping. Ugh.

47 Meters Down

47 Meters Down

Rating 7 out of 10

I did my first scuba dive MANY years ago.  Have been fortunate enough to do some fantastic dives around the world including an incredible shark dive in the Bahamas (twice) with reef sharks.  Doing a cage dive with Great White Sharks has always and still is on my bucket list.  Funny thing is for years my oldest son (also a scuba diver) has said he would never do the cage dive for fear the cage would break loose just like it did in this movie.

So opening night I grabbed the Hottie and headed toward the local Regal Theaters as it wasn't playing in our favorite NCG?  The movie starts off well and moves at a good pace until the crazy finale.  Two sisters, Lisa and Kate (Mandy Moore and Claire Holt) go on a Mexican vacation after a tough breakup for Lisa.  Kate is the adventurous one and after a night of drinking convinces Lisa that getting in a cage with 20+ foot Great Whites is a good idea.

The boat with Captain Taylor (Matthew Modine) is a rust bucket that anyone with common sense would not want to ride across the bay in much less play with huge man eating fish.  When it's time for the girls to go into the cage with several huge sharks swimming around everything is great until they start to wench them back in. The cage with two ladies free falls to the bottom of the ocean.  You guessed it 47 meters down (154 feet).   They have several problems on their list.  They have a limited amount of air and worse yet these huge hungry sharks between them and the boat.  Being that deep they can't drop everything and shoot to the top.  That would give them the bends and probably also kill them.

While this is a fairly low budget movie it gets the job done.  It relies on scaring you not grossing you out.  Not much gore for a movie like this. There were plenty of scenes that had the Hottie jumping in her seat.   Acting is mostly good.  I'm pretty sure this was filmed before Mandy Moore hit big with her tv show.  I was entertained even though I kept questioning why they used meters. I have never seen a scuba dive that went by meters instead of feet.  I guess naming the movie 154 feet didn't sound as good.

The Mummy

The Mummy

Rating 6 out of 10

This movie is getting pounded in the reviews so when my son inlaw Gerard and I working in South Carolina decided to catch a movie we kept expectations low.  That was a good thing.  By keeping expectations low it was actually better than we expected.  Not a great movie, but not something I regret seeing.

First of all this movie has absolutely nothing to do with the 1999 (has it really been EIGHTEEN years???)  Brendan Fraser movie of the same title.  Not one bit.  Not sure what they could have named this movie but it seems they could have come up with something different.  Here in the Middle East we have a couple military guys (Tom Cruise and Jake Johnson) more concerned with swiping gold artifacts than fighting ISIS.  When they stumble upon an ancient burial ground with a little help from Jenny (the lovely Annabelle Wallis) they to the surprise of no one in my theater (all six of us on a Wednesday night) unearth an evil temptress Ahmanet who (hold on to your hat) wants to take over the world and kill most if not all of man kind.

When she is brought up from her mummy state she is able to call upon her mummy friends to track down Cruise who somehow by killing him helps her take over the world.  A great cast including Russell Crow as Dr Jeckyll (still not sure what part he played) and the now popular Sofia Boutella as Ahmanet.

With this cast this movie should have been much better.  The end leaves open for a Part II which I feel will never come.  Action is pretty good.  Effects are even better.  Like I said great cast.  If you can catch it on an early show it's not bad.  Otherwise wait to rent if you like these type movies.

Baywatch

Baywatch

5.5 out of 10

Anyone going to see a movie based on pretty much any 80s tv show is not going for an intricate plot. That goes double for the cheesy beefcake tv show Baywatch.  Pam Anderson was fun to look at but not really worth sitting through many episodes.  With Baywatch the movie we get very little plot and again lots of beefcake.

The modern day Mitch Buchannon is now played by Dwayne Johnson. The ultimate hunk.  The first part of the movie is Mitch and his number two CJ (Kelly Rohrbach) needing to fill three empty spots on the Baywatch squad.  Former Olympic swimmer and bad boy Matt Brody (Zac Efron) is forced upon Mitch by his supervisor.  This leads to some of the funniest parts of the movie with Mitch calling him by boy band names.

The second half of the movie takes a bit of a dive.  Centered around Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra from tv's Quantico and the reason I paid eight bucks to see the movie) the bad girl who is smuggling drugs into the bay to finance taking over all the hotels in the area.  I wouldn't be surprised if this storyline was lifted by one of the tv scripts.  They could have done much better.

Overall I thought the movie had some laughs.  Fun seeing the life of a California lifeguard. I was mildly entertained.  If you have a rainy day and want a few laughs this one is not that bad.  Otherwise a good rental.

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman

Rating 8.5 out of 10

When I first heard that the skinny gal (Gal Gadot) from the Fast and Furious movies was pegged to be the next Wonder Woman I was not happy.  I like every other teenage boy was a fan of the Wonder Woman tv show with the beautiful and very curvy Lynda Carter.  I thought Gadot was too slender for the part even though she is clearly beautiful too.  Turns out all you need is a cool WW suit with all the curves built in.  Gadot is a good actress that does the story and this movie proud.

Some origin movies suffer in the beginning when they tell the back story on the main star.  I would argue that this might be the best part.  The story begins with young Diana and her overprotective mother who knows her destiny yet wants to delay it or eliminate it all together.  When a hunky WWI pilot (Chris Pine)  crashes in the sea in front of Diana's island she saves him and learns the evil Germans are trying to take over the world and realizes it's her duty to stop them and the God of War that I can't remember the name of.

Action scenes are very good.  Gadot nails it as Wonder Woman.  Pine is great as the pilot/soldier.  Good supporting cast too.  Good movie for the whole family.  No bad words that I remember.  My five year old granddaughter loved it.  Shouting Girl Power on the way out of the theater.

Good movie.  I was entertained.

Alien: Covenant

Alien: Covenant

Rating 5 out of 10

I, like many, am a big fan of the first and second Alien movies.  Didn't care for the 2012 Prometheus movie that was a prequel to the original Alien.  This movie takes place after Prometheus and before Alien.

In Alien: Covenant there is a large colony ship called the Covenant.  It holds a ten person crew, an android and several thousand people intent on starting a new life in a distant planet.  When a solar flare damages the ship and wakes the crew killing two the remaining crew do what they can to repair the ship.  As they are doing the repairs they hear a distress call from what appears to be a much closer  planet that may fit the bill for their colony.  When they investigate the new planet they find it instead with one crazy android and way to many alien things to count.

On the good this movie has a killer cast.  Michael Fassbender (playing both androids), Katherine Waterston (daughter of Sam Waterston from Law and Order), Billy Crudup and Danny McBride.  The effects are first rate.

The bad:  The movie attempts to be too deep and instead has huge lulls in the story.  Most of the action you see in the trailers are the bulk of the action of the movie.  Too many "oh please" moments where a person having just watched one of their crew eaten by an alien he sees the big pod open up and he sticks his head in there to look around.  R rated when it really didn't need to be.  Some very bloody attack scenes and lots of F-bombs that don't really make the movie any better.  Even a brief shower sex scene that seems to have been thrown in to get the rating.

This is not a bad movie but it compares much more to Aliens III than either of the originals.  I was mildly entertained.  I'd say wait to rent

King Arthur : Legend of the Sword

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Rating 6 out of 10

Looking at the reviews I knew I was in for a long haul with this movie.  It currently stands at 27% on www.rottentomatoes.com.  But I had a standing date for this movie.  While Jim is not as attractive as my usual date he was definitely entertaining.  Went into the theater with expectations very low and was pleasantly surprised.  It was better than I thought it would be even tho some dummy (ME) picked the time that was only showing 3D.

One thing the movie showed me was how little I knew on the legend of King Arthur.  Everyone has heard of him pulling the sword out of the stone when no one else could, but I had no idea how it got in the stone got there to start with.  I thought about going to wikipedia to double-check the accuracy of the movie then figured I'd just post it here and someone will correct if it's wrong.

Here Arthur's dad is the king loved by everyone.  Everyone except his evil brother who ends up killing him and Arthurs mom.  Arthur escapes in a boat and is found and raised by a group of prostitutes.  He has no idea who he is.  When the now evil brother king several years later is trying to flush out his nephew by making everyone the right age try to pull the sword from the stone.  Once he does his removal things start kicking.

The movie is just over two hours and seems a little longer It does benefit from a great cast.  Pretty boy Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy), Jude Law, Eric Bana, Aidan Gillen (Game of Thrones) and you can't make a movie like this without Djimon Hounsou.  It has some good action scenes.  I was entertained.

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2

Rating 7 out of 10

I don't think there is a movie this year I was more excited about than this one.  I also tried to not set the bar too high.  That is difficult as the original Guardians is in my top five movies of all time.  If not top three.  So the chances this one could live up to the original was slim.  Volume 2 is good although not nearly as good as the first.  : <

This movie takes up a few years after the last one.  The Guardians are hiring themselves out to other planets to take care of bad guys or monsters.  It begins with a long mostly funny battle with a huge octopus looking alien with huge rows of teeth that has come to a planet to steal their battery power.

Most of the story centralizes around Peter finally finding his father.  Ego (played by the always great Kurt Russell) is a being that fell in love with Peters mother and when she died hired Yondu to bring young Pete to him.

There are a couple other side plots but mostly I can't elaborate without giving spoilers.  My biggest problem with Volume 2 is it's way more slapstick than the first one.  You never feel there is even a chance the hero's will not come out on top.  The battles are too jokey.  For me it was almost like a parody of the first one.

Still I was entertained.  Love the characters.  Look forward to Volume 3.

Gifted

Gifted

Rating 6 out of 10

I thought this movie looked cute from the first trailer viewing.  Good cast.  Was concerned that it had a limited release, but some time on my hands I decided to give it a shot.  It was a good rainy day movie.

The movie starts with little Mary begrudgingly going off for her first day at school.  We find out that Frank is her uncle.  When her mother (his sister) died he took on the task of raising her.  We soon find out that Mary is gifted to the genius status.  In first grade she is doing huge multiplication problems in her head.  The teachers of course want to send her directly to the school for the gifted but Uncle Frank promised her mom (who was also a genius) she would get a normal life with normal kids.

Grandma gets involved and wants to push her to the limits she did with Mom that caused her demise. Grandma is rich and controlling and sues for custody.

The film moves along at a slow pace and is fairly predictable.  What makes this an above average movie is the acting .  Chris Evans is very good as Uncle Frank and little McKenna Grace could not be cuter as Mary.  Octavia Spencer is also good as the neighbor that helps out with Mary.

I was entertained.  I would say when this hits RedBox it would be a very good rental.

Fate of the Furious

The Fate of the Furious

Rating 3 out of 10

Clearly this has been an interesting series of movies.  I have liked most of the Fast and Furious movies.  I think the apex was Fast Five.  They really should have stopped there.  The problem is the movies keep making a bazillion dollars so sad to say there will be more.  This Fate movie grossed over $500 Million world wide.  For me after this one I am out.

The Furious 7 movie was so over the top and unbelievable but still had a fun factor even though it seemed to have been written by a third grader.  So the bar was set pretty low with Fate of the Furious.  Sadly for all of us four guys that saw it the movie finished far below expectations.  As anyone that has watched tv in the past few months has surely seen the trailers for F8 knows this time Dom goes rogue.  The only thing the family can't handle is a bad Dom.  I'm not going to give spoilers as to why Dom goes rogue but I should to save you ten bucks.  The action is not very good.  Every fight scene with the Rock or Jason Statham is so full of shaky cam it was hard to watch.

The plot is so weak even that third grader that wrote the last one would say Oh Please!  Needless to say I was not entertained.  Slapped my forehead so many times I had a headache when I left.  I know you have to take these with a grain of salt. I just couldn't do it.

I would say don't even bother to rent but that's just me.

Boss Baby

Boss Baby 

Rating 7 out of 10

This was not a cartoon I was anxious to see.  It looked kinda dumb and predictable.  Maybe I'll rent it.  Maybe.  But when my beautiful granddaughter Olivia has a birthday she pretty much gets what she wants from me (most other days also).  We braved the thunderstorms and her momma Mandy met us there were a car load of young ones.  Two minutes before the movie started what must have been a bus load of kids invaded the theater.  Oh man, when the movie gets boring this is going to be painful.

Then the movie started.  Much to my surprise it was actually funny.  The kids were all laughing heartily and I laughed out loud a few times too.  The 97 minute movie moves along at a good pace.  Yes the story is predictable.  Young Timmy is loving life with his two caring parents (voiced by Lisa Kudrow and Jimmy Kimmel) spoiling him with truck loads of attention. Then one day it's all ruined when a baby from the baby factory (Alec Baldwin).  There is a side plot where Boss Baby is a special baby that is being groomed to take over the Baby Factory except the bad guy is causing problems.  Timmy is out to do whatever it takes to get Boss out of his life.

My Grandkids laughed until their sides hurt.  I laughed and was entertained,  It was much better than I thought it would be,  I wouldn't rate it up there even close to Moana or some of the other great animated films of last year.  I won't buy the dvd but I will recommend it for kids of all ages.

Power Rangers

Power Rangers

Rating 6 out of 10

The Power Rangers have been around for quite some time as the tv show started in the US back in 1993.  I have never watched an episode but my oldest son (31 now) I feel sure watched every one.  I am surprised this is the first large scale movie released in theaters.  The movie while clearly aimed at young males and big fans of the old tv show does hit the mark for that.  I had a cute little granddaughter that wanted to see it so no matter what I was going to have fun.

The movie starts with a super hero version of the Breakfast Club.  All five of our future Rangers are in High School detention for various reasons.  When the nerdy kid gets the cool kid to go to a rock quarry with him to look for I'm not sure what it turns out the two females and Asian kid are at the quarry at the same time.  As luck would have it when they are digging in the rocks they find five crystal type rocks all of different colors.  So each one of the Rangers get their own crystal that gives them each super powers.  Super strong and can leap small buildings with a single bound.

The problem is when they unearthed their super crystals they also awoke a really mean female that loves gold and (surprise) is determined to wipe out all humans and take over earth.  When she builds her golden giant to kill everyone the five rookie Power Rangers are all there are to save the world.

The final showdown is cool for this type of movie.  I was mildly entertained.  Little Rylee Rose gave it an enthusiastic double thumbs up.  Although she gave the video games in the lobby the same approval.  If you have a young child that you want to take to a movie or an older child that grew up on the tv shows you won't be completely bored.  Definitely worth seeing on the big screen.

CHiPs

ChiPS

Rating 5.5 out of 10

Conversation
Me: That CHiPs movie looks sooooooo stupid.  I didn't even like the tv show when it was on in the 80s.  I like Dax Shepard but has he EVER been in a good movie???  I'd rather you just hit me in the head with a bat right now and get it over with.

Hottie: I'd really like to see that CHiPs movie

Me: There is a 130pm showing...

Needless to say I set the bar very low for this movie.  Surprisingly it was mildly entertaining and harmless.  The movie uses actual characters from the old tv show.   The story is not much more silly that any episode that hit the air on NBC.

Shepard plays Jon Baker.  An ex-pro cycle rider that wants to become a CHiPs officer to impress his distant wife (true life wife Kristen Bell).  Frank "Ponch" Poncherello (Michael Pena) is an FBI agent sent in to investigate some possible bad cops.  He gets partnered with Baker since he is a rookie and can't be one of the bad ones.

The story is elementary and predictable, but there are some funny parts that do land even tho most are aimed at 14 year old males.  Vincent D' Onofrio (one of my favorites) plays a good bad guy.  We laughed and as long as our popcorn and diet coke didn't run out we didn't look at our watches.

As I said I was mildly entertained.  This would make a decent rental for some laughs.

Life

Life

Rating 5 out of 10

I was on the fence on this one, but the good cast and some time on my hands got the better of me.  One of my movie pet peeves is movie previews that tell the whole dang movie.  That is mostly the case here.  The previews tell the whole story.

There is a group of astronauts on a large expensive Space Station not far out of the atmosphere.  They are attempting to gather a probe from Mars that somehow they know has a possible life form.  In the matter of hours they have the thing in the lab and are poking at it. They treat it like a pet and even give it a name.  Turns out the little guy is not so friendly after all and when he grows like crazy.  Starts killing the good guys and is way smarter than they thought.

You can pretty much guess the rest of the story.  It comes across as a low rent Alien movie.  If it were not for the good cast this would go straight to DVD or never been made. It's not bad, but it's not good either.  If you are bored you can rent this one at RedBox in a couple months.  I was mostly bored.