Tough Sh*t - Kevin Smith book

Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good

by Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith is a movie director.  He has mostly made small independent films that are aimed to slackers and potheads.  His bigger movies you may have never heard of are Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and his one attempt at a big budget movie Cop Out (which flopped big time) .  The funny part of this review is I have seen none of the above movies.  They are just not my cup of film stock. Not aimed toward my age group.  Kevin Smith himself is an admitted foul mouthed fat slob who clearly has no filter on his mouth.  Anyone that knows me would clearly say Royce is going to hate this guy!  Yet like a moth to a flame there is something about the guy.  I have seen him on many talk shows and he is very funny.  He is a clever writer and speaks well.  He even filled in on At the Movies as a reviewer when Roger Ebert first got sick.

As I said Kevin Smith is very foul mouthed.  In this book if he were dropping H-bombs instead of F-bombs the planet would now be gone.  He is very inappropriate. He drives 100 miles past TMI when he talks of his sex life with his beautiful wife. Maybe 200 miles.  If my kids ever read any of my blogs right about here would be saying Dad is going to hate this guy.  Sadly he is like watching a train wreck.  You just can't look away.

This book is a slight attempt at an autobiography for Smith.  He more rambles about his childhood and touches about interesting parts of his life so far.  Kevin is (you may remember) the fat guy that Southwest Airlines probably inappropriately tossed him off a crowded plane after everyone was seated because he was too large.  Southwest probably should have looked at his Twitter account and saw he had 1.5 million followers before they gave him the heave ho.  He devotes a whole very funny, kinda sad chapter to this episode.

I would say the cost of the book is well spent just on the chapter on Bruce Willis.  So often we hear whispers about pampered spoiled movie stars.  It's generally only whispers as actors/directors/reviewers because that person is a big star and they may need to work with them in the future.  Safe to say Kevin Smith is not worried about ever working with Bruce Willis ever again.  Kevin has a small acting part in the last Die Hard movie and had a chance to meet him.  He was a big fan of all of Bruce's movies and looked at him with stars in his eyes.  When Smith was picked to direct his first movie with a budget, Cop Out he could not have been more thrilled when he heard Bruce Willis had agreed to be in the movie.  Smith and most of the others took a huge pay cut to afford Willis.  Needless to say it did not go well.  I believe if you bought this book (or listened to the audio version as I do)  read the Willis chapter and threw it away you would feel you spent your money well.

I can't stress enough this book is not for everyone.  I don't know why I liked it so much.  If I were to give it to someone I'd put it in a brown paper bag and slide it to them under the table.  Yet I laughed my butt off.  I found myself walking the dog alot to get a chance to listen to the book.  Afterwards I feel I have watched a train wreck. : >

The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games

Rating 8.5 out of 10


As I'm sure anyone reading this knows this movie is based on the first of a trilogy of books by Susanne Collins.  I read the first two books and enjoyed them.  Once I knew there were movies being made I decided to wait and read the third book just before the movie comes out.  I know there are millions that have read the books and I will say you will not be disappointed.

In the movie we see North America in the future.  We find it is being run by the evil Capitol goons that live in the lavish city surrounded by twelve districts who live in literal starvation while providing goods for the fat cats.  In punishment for a squashed revolution many years before the Capitol created a yearly battle where one boy and girl from each district (age between 12-18) are chosen at random to fight to the death with one winner.  The winners district gains extra food and goods for the upcoming year.

Our hero is Katniss Evergreen played perfectly by Jennifer Lawrence.  She is tough as nails and has honed her hunting skills slipping into the forbidden land killing food to feed her mom and sister. When her younger sister is selected Katniss steps up to go in her place.  Most of the cast is how I pictured from the book.

If you have not read the book I feel you will enjoy the movie as much as those who have.  If you are worried it will be a blood and guts movie with sixth graders killing each other it is not.  The fighting is done tastefully.  Probably more in the movie than the book since they had to have that PG-13 rating.  This is a good movie for all.  For the very young (under 12) I'd leave it to the parent to decide.  There are some scary parts with rabid dogs and killer bees.

I only have one gripe with the movie.  When I bought my first video camera I thought it was very cool to zoom in and out rapidly and was not the best at holding the camera still.  When we watched the movies later it was clear someone should have held off on the caffeine before filming.  The director (Gary Ross) took the same approach with much of this movie.  I wanted to yell at the screen to hold the camera still!

I overcame my hostile feelings to really like this movie.  It was 2.5 hours in length but flew by for me.  I highly recommend it for everyone.

The Butterfly Circus- short film

Someone sent me a link to this short movie several months ago.  I love movies, but I'm generally not into little short films.  The few I have seen were mostly boring art house type films poorly made on a shoestring budget with bad acting.  I gave the Butterfly Circus a try and was very glad I did.   A different friend forwarded me this link again today and it made me smile.

I almost hate to describe it as I doubt I can do it justice.

Back in the Depression there was a little man with nearly no arms or legs.  The only way he can make a living is being a sideshow freak.  People laugh and throw things at him.  He naturally becomes very bitter.    One day a man comes through the sideshow that does not make fun of him.  He is the ringleader of the Butterfly Circus and welcomes him to the group.  He learns for the first time what it's like to be treated by people who are good and loving.

The short 22 minute film is well made and acted.  It will leave you with that warm and fuzzy feeling we all need from time to time.  Trust me on this and give it a try.

Watch it here in the full screen.

The Butterfly Circus

John Carter

John Carter

Rating 6 out of 10

It seems like Disney has been playing commercials for this movie for a year.  I had high hopes for this one.  A fantasy mixed with lots of action.  The movie delivers on the action (especially if you haven't seen the previews over and over.  The story is several times more complicated than it needs to be.  The story of John Carter comes from a classic novel starting back a hundred years ago.

John Carter is an ex captain in the civil war looking for gold when he stumbles upon a port that zips him to a desert on Mars.  Turns out Mars is not full of little green men.  Half the inhabitants are cool tall green people with four arms and horns off their face.  The other half for some reason look like humans.  The human Martians have been in a civil war for many years.  John because of the difference  in the gravity is able to leap tall buildings (or big rocks) in a single bound.  Both sides want John to fight with them.  He knows which side is the good side because the princess is really hot.  There is something about a third group that wants to take over the whole planet, but it got too deep for me.

Taylor Kitsch plays our hero John Carter.  He is mostly famous from the tv show Friday Night Lights that I never watched and one of the X-men films.  He does a good job here.  The hot princess is played by the lovely Lynn Collins who was also in that last X-men movie.  The acting on the whole is very good.  Its the story that needs a little work.

This is a good-enough action movie that if you want to see it I'd recommend an early showing.  I saw the non- 3D version cuz I don't like 3D.  Didn't feel like I missed anything.  Leaving the theater I did wish I had four arms like the cool green guys!

This Means War

This Means War

Rating 7.5 out of 10

This is a movie you go to just to have a good time.  Don't set the bar too high and expect too much.  Just basic entertainment with three good looking lead actors.

Chris Pine and Tom Hardy play CIA agents along the lines of 007 James Bond.  They are also best of friends.  Very competitive.  When they accidentally fall for the same woman ( Reese Witherspoon- who just keeps getting better looking with age) it becomes a bit of a competition yet they do care for her.  They begin to use their CIA gadgets and connections to increase their chances with her and thwart the other guys dates.  Our tax dollars at work!

She also likes both men after being in a bad relationship.  She shares her problems with her best friend Trish (the funny Chelsea Handler).  Trying to decide which guy to go after.

Again if you don't set the bar too high I think you'll be entertained. I laughed a good bit.  There are a some good action scenes with the side plot of the evil terrorist out for revenge when his brother was killed in an Op.  Mostly it's entertaining due to the three stars.

I liked it.

Royce's Oscar Pics 2012

The 84th Academy Awards

I tried not to sound angry.  Cassie said it did not work.  I am not happy with this years nominations at all...

Royce’s Oscar Picks

Anyone that knows me knows I don’t care for the Oscars or awards shows in general.  The Oscar voters are snobs that seem to think a movie that is successful in the box office is not worthy.  This years crop of movies is all the proof you need to see.  Out of nine movies nominated (why nine?)  there is only one that grossed over $100 Million. That would be the Help.  Not that box office is the only measure of a good movie.  I think the voters think they are smarter than we are and any movie that sells tickets can’t be that good. Here are my predictions.

The Artist-  I just can’t bring myself to pay money to see a silent movie.  A black and white silent movie at that.  Maybe I’ll rent it some day.

The Descendants-  I have a friend that loved this movie.  I did not.  I thought it was nothing like the trailers made it out to be.  Very depressing.  I’m over with the teen angst movies too.  The rude teenager hates everyone and treats dad like crap until she see’s the light and now loves everyone.  Not my cup of tea.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close-  Maybe I’ll rent this some day.  Besides having Tom Hanks in it I saw nothing that made me want to see it.

The Help- I waited to rent this movie and admit it was better than I thought it would be.  The nominations were well deserved.  I think it’s a shame Emma Stone did not get nominated.  The fact that this was a big box office hit may kill any chance of it winning.

Hugo-  What a long, boring waste of film stock.  This is like sitting through a two and half hour history lesson on silent movies. It was so dull you can’t even fall asleep.

Midnight in Paris-  I have never be a Woody Allen fan.  Any other director that somehow gets A-list actors yet gross’s less than $50 million would be a huge failure.  Somehow he keeps working.  It’s not for me.

Moneyball-  I would call this the best movie of the bunch.  Is it a movie deserving an Oscar?  Not even close.  It’s a fun, likable and entertaining  movie about a baseball team.  It’s good, but not award worthy.

The Tree of Life-  I don’t even remember this being in the theaters. I don’t think a movie only 27 people saw should be nominated.  I rented the dvd and seriously thought someone had mixed up the scenes.  It was very strange and started to give me a headache. 

War Horse-  This is the typical epic movie that generally gets an Oscar nomination.  It was a good movie. Not  great.  Kinda longer than it needs to be and has that feel that they are just trying too hard. 

Who I think should win-  Honestly,  I don’t think any of these should win. 

Who I think will win: I’m guessing The Help since they have so many other nominations and it seems like they are on a roll. 

Best Actor

Demian Bichir-  I have seen MANY movies and have never heard of this guy or the movie A Better Life

George Clooney-  He does a good job mostly in this movie.  At times I felt he flashed back to being the goofy guy from O Brother, Where Art Thou?  I think he has been better in other movies.

Jean Dujardin-  Did not see the silent movie.  Have seen him on some talk shows and found him to be likable and funny.

Gary Oldman-  He is a good actor.  Did not see Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.  Heard it was not very good.

Brad Pitt-  Pretty boy does a good job.  Without Brad Moneyball is not made.   Not award winning good, but good.

Who I think should win-   Out of this bunch I’d say Brad Pitt although he was much better in Benjamin Buttons.

Who I think will win: - I’m guessing George Clooney. 

Best Actress

Glenn Close- I’m betting no one reading this has seen the movie Albert Nobbs.  I have not seen a movie I liked where one sex plays the other since Tootsie.  No desire to see this one.

Viola Davis- She does a good job in the Help.  I think Emma Stone should have got the nod instead.  Viola is a fine actress.  Just not the best one here.

Rooney Mara-  She wouldn’t even win Best Actress to play a tattooed girl.  Noomi Repace in the Swiss version is much better

Meryl Streep- Almost no one has seen The Iron Lady.  I have not.  I think Ms. Streep has a contract with someone that says she has to be nominated for every movie she makes.

Michelle Williams-  I am not a fan.  She keeps making movies that no one seems yet somehow get’s nominations.  I think she’s a bit of a weirdo and not a very good actress.

Who I think should win-   This is a tough one.  I only saw two of the five movies. 

Who I think should win-   I’m guessing Glenn Close but that is just a shot in the dark.

Best Supporting Actor-

Kenneth Branagh-  I did not see My Week With Marilyn.

Jonah Hill-  I don’t usually find him funny but he is very good in Moneyball. 

Nick Nolte- A classic performance in Warrior.  If he does not win I’ll never watch the Oscars again.  Oh yeah I don’t watch now.

Christopher Plumber- Never even heard of the movie Beginners.  It grossed a whole $5.2 million box office. 

Max von Sydow-  Did not see Extremely Loud & Extremely Close

Who I think should win-   Nick Nolte hands down. 

Who I think will win:  Nick may have a shot but I’m guessing Christopher Plummer.  The snobs in the academy will think this will get the Beginners a few ticket sales.

Best Supporting Actress

Berenice Bejo-  As I have said I have not seen the Artist but was under the impression Bejo was the star of the movie.  Not sure who she supports.

Jessica Chastain- I like Jessica.  Think she is purty.  Her character was pretty goofy  in the Help.  She was in seven movies in 2011.  Maybe nomination was for a mix of them all?

Melissa McCarthy- She was very funny in a role type not usually nominated.  I like her a lot.

Janet McTeer-  I have never heard of her nor seen the movie Albert Nobbs.

Octavia Spencer- I think she was born to play this role in The Help.  With her bug eyes and sass she makes the movie. 

Who I think should win-   Octavia Spencer

Who I think will win:  Octavia Spencer

Kill Shot by Vince Flynn- Book

Kill Shot: An American Assassin Thriller

I am very glad to say my favorite super spy is back!  For anyone that has not read Vince Flynn's series with lead character Mitch Rapp you are in for a treat.  If you liked the tv show 24 with Jack Bauer you will like this series.  In fact Flynn wrote for the 24 series for a while.  Mitch Rapp is the same type of no nonsense man as Jack.  Tough as nails.  If there are only 6-8 bad guys in his way he doesn't bother calling for backup. Here is a link to the series of books if you want to take the audible route.

Kill Shot is the second prequel to the earlier books.  Young Rapp is making a name for himself with the good guys and also bad guys by the way he takes out the terrorists.  When a job in Paris goes bad and five men with machine guys bust in during a hit he barely escapes with a bullet in the shoulder.  He knows it was a trap but does not know if it's the bad guys or possibly someone back in the CIA.

Rapp hides out in Paris from the terrorists trying to track him down, local police and other CIA agents sent in to find out what happened to them.  The CIA guys are not Rapp's biggest fans.  They are jealous of his success and are happy to see him fail.

Lots of action.  Plenty of politics within the Paris police and also back home in the US.  This book like all of the other Mitch Rapp books flies along.  You just can't wait for the next section to come.

Good book I clearly can't recommend enough.